Clare Went Back to the Dance
by TheBucketWoman
Summary: So, yeah, she went back to the dance, but there really wasn't much in the way of celebration. Rated T for language, etc.
1. Chapter 1

Clare Went Back to the Dance

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with _Degrassi_ or anything else I reference herein. No profit is being made and no infringement intended.

Chapter One.

Clare went back to the dance. At the time, it really seemed like the best thing to do.

Alli didn't question it, just went back inside with her. They went straight to the bathroom because Clare'd been dying to pee for the last five or six blocks.

After she came out and washed her hands, she took time to fix her face a little and Alli did some stuff to her hair to make it seem less like running-in-high-humidity messy and more like messy-on-purpose. Alli seemed to have that power.

"Okay?" Clare asked.

"Perfect," Alli said. "Me?"

"Perfect."

"Awesome," Alli said. And they went back into the gym.

It was good for a while, Clare downed a few glasses of punch, ate some chips, and bobbed to the music, until that Katy Perry song came on, the one that Clare sort of liked and Eli (of course) completely hated.

_Who says 'firework,' singular?_ Eli's voice said from somewhere inside Clare's over-caffeinated head. She rolled her eyes and took another swig of her drink.

_Suppose that Train song is next?_ Imaginary Eli asked. "Hey Soul Sister." He'd actually made up some parody lyrics once. "He-ey! Heeeeeey! Buy my washing machine! Tonight" He'd sung. It wasn't Eli's best material, but it had gotten Adam to choke on his popcorn that day.

Her eyes sought out Adam, whom she found in the middle of a cluster of girls. After a minute or two, Clare saw Wesley pop over to the group and, next thing she knew, the two of them seemed to be having a dance off. And of course, being Wesley and Adam, they weren't about to let a little thing like a complete lack of rhythm stop them.

She caught Alli's eye and gestured toward them. Alli winked and grabbed Clare's drink out of her hand, putting it down and starting to drag her toward the group.

"No," Clare said, not that anyone could have heard her. "_No_! Alli! Quit it!" Her voice got swallowed by Rihanna's.

Alli, being Alli, jumped into the fray and danced horribly in between Adam and Wesley. Clare stood and watched them, shaking her head, as did Wesley's date, Hannah.

But Hannah was laughing. That was the difference. This was really funny, no doubt. It should be funny. Any other day, Clare would be clutching her sides, but that night, she was having a little trouble reacting the right way. All she could do was stare at them.

The song abruptly changed to something drum-heavy. It was familiar; Clare thought it was called "Poison" or "That Girl is Poison," or something like that. It had been on _Glee, _another thing Eli liked to make fun of.

"Oh my gosh!" Alli yelped, jumping up and down, and then she and Adam did something that approximated 90s dancing, while Clare stared at them like she'd forgotten how to blink.

_Blink, Clare_. Her eyes felt like she'd been reading fine print.

"That girl is poison!" some 90s guy sang.

_Poison. _

_Great. Just great_. She glared up at the stage where Sav was currently doing the same dance Alli was trying to do, except that he was doing it the right way. How a guy like Sav could pick something so…_misogynist, _she didn't know.

_And true_, Clare thought.

_What?_ She thought. _Screw that_._ It is not true. I did what I had to do. I will not let Eli turn me into Bella freakin Swan. It's just not gonna happen. I am fifteen years old and I'm at a dance with my friends. And he is not about to take that away from me, dammit! I have friends and I am going to have fun with them._

Until of course the news got out about what had happened to Eli of course. Then there might be some whispers about what kind of person left her boyfriend in a hospital bed, covered in cuts, a cast, and a neckbrace, and went back to a dance.

People didn't do that unless there was something wrong with them.

"Poison!" the guy (and what seemed like every other girl on the dance floor) sang.

Somebody nudged her.

"Hey," Wesley said. "What's going on?" Hannah seemed to be looking at her with concern, too. Clare looked away.

"_Clare_," Wesley said. Then suddenly Alli and Adam weren't dancing anymore.

"What?" Adam asked. "What'd I miss? Jeez, Clare. Look at you. Are you okay?"

And Clare burst into tears, making a bunch of people descend on her until she couldn't breathe. She tried to squirm away, but they surrounded her. Especially Alli.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Alli said when they got outside the gym. "I am so stupid! I'm taking you home, okay? Clare? Look at me."

"What is going on?" Adam kept asking.

So Clare had to tell him.

"He…crashed…"

Things got quiet.

"What?" Hanna asked. "Who?"

"Morty…"

"WHAT?" Adam asked.

"Adam!" Alli said.

"What the fuck!" Adam said. "Eli crashed the…"

Stuff got a little loud again.

"Are you serious—"

"Not helping!"

"Oh my God!"

"Clare! What the -!"

"HEY!" A security guard yelled.

"We're leaving!" Alli said.

"No you're not!" Adam said.

"We. Are. Leaving," Alli said.

"Okay," Adam said. "Let's go."

The security guard didn't want to get lost, kept looking at them like he was about to call for backup.

"I need to separate you?"

"She had a fight with her boyfriend, but she's gonna be okay," Alli said.

"Either of you the boyfriend?" the guard asked.

"No," Adam and Wesley said together, almost in harmony. Hannah didn't seem to be with them anymore.

"All right," the guard said. "Whatever you guys got going on, take it outside."

"We're going," Alli said.

Alli dragged her outside and they sat on the steps again.

"Now where's Eli?" Adam asked.

"He's in the hospital," Alli said. "He's gonna be okay though."

"What the hell are you doing _here_?" Adam asked Clare.

"Adam, go back inside if you're gonna yell," Alli said. "You are so not helping." Adam went off to the side somewhere and pulled out his phone.

To put whipped cream on top of the chaos pie, Sav came out and started asking questions.

"I'll tell you later," Alli said. "Just give me ten bucks for a cab. I don't wanna make her wait for a bus." Sav went for his wallet and handed over cash.

"You have a number for a cab?"

"No," Alli said. Sav rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, making the call and giving out the proper addresses, all the while seeming awfully calm and in charge. He was even absently rubbing Clare's arm with his free hand and she leaned on him until he got up suddenly.

"Adam!" he called, chasing after him. "Where the hell're you going all by yourself! Are you out of your damn mind?"

"Join the club," Clare said.

"It's gonna be okay," Alli said.

"He's never gonna talk to me again," Clare said. "Nobody will."

"Clare."

"What kind of person am I?"she asked. "I deserve everything…"

"You're _Clare_," Alli said. "Stop thinking so much. I'm telling you it's gonna be okay. I have your back. I got you."

"Who's Dj-ing?" Clare asked, after a minute.

"_What_?" Alli asked.

"'Cause, Sav—" Clare said, gesturing in the direction Sav went after Adam.

"He's got it programmed," Alli said. "Or he asked someone to take over. Who gives a rat's ass—"

"How am I gonna explain this?" Clare asked. "My mom—"

"What did I tell you about thinking?"

"Do you guys hate me?"

"Of course not," Alli said. "_Right_?"

"No!" Hanna said.

"Nuh-uh," Wesley said.

But Clare was sure that they did. They were just too decent to leave her; maybe they were afraid she'd wander into traffic and get hurt. They were good people. Not like her.

"Stop babbling," Alli said. "You're a good person. You'll see that in the morning."

The cab came and obviously they climbed in and got home, but Clare barely remembered doing so.

Alli stayed with her all night, leaving only when Sav picked her up in the morning. For the record, Clare didn't feel any better.


	2. Chapter 2

Clare Went Back to the Dance

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with _Degrassi_ or anything else I reference herein. No profit is being made and no infringement intended.

Chapter Two.

Eli, for his part, ping ponged between swearing that he would never forgive Clare for picking that moment to dump his ass and being pretty sure that he'd forgive her anything if she'd just show up. Or call. Or text. Maybe even tweet at him.

Technically she left _before_ he crashed the hearse, had been leaving him for weeks, in fact, but that didn't stop him from thinking that leaving him at the hospital like that was at least a little wrong.

_Who am I kidding?_ He thought. He just wanted to see her. It was a little hard to work up moral outrage in the face of what he'd done.

Maybe if he had at least pretended to forgive Fitz and maybe looked the other way when the kid talked about the "deep connection" he had with Clare all of a sudden, things would be different.

Maybe if he'd been a little less fucking crazy in general. There was really only so much a person should have to put up with and Eli just wore out his welcome. He'd said as much to the shrink when he came.

"Why do you think that?" the guy said because that's what he always said. At least he didn't say "why do you think that _is_?" Turning it into a rhetorical question would have sent Eli over the edge. He _hated_ rhetorical questions. He liked short answers. Maybe some true/false. Essay questions were the best, though. Even if he didn't study, Eli could bullshit his way through an essay question and pass.

Except that this guy was too sharp to let Eli bullshit him. That was going to be a problem. There was medication in Eli's near future. He'd avoided the pharmaceuticals up to this point, but his unmedicated days were over.

Adam came. Bullfrog had mentioned that he'd tried to come the night before but couldn't get in to see him before he got transferred from the ER to an actual room. Still, it didn't look like he'd slept at all, and Cece mauled him the second she noticed he was there, the poor kid.

"Wow," Eli said. "You look like shit." Adam glared at him.

"Too soon?" Eli asked.

Cece scoffed.

"Guess I'll leave you guys alone for a second," she said. "I'll be right outside, though."

"So? How was the dance? Meet any—" Eli asked.

"You wanna just tell me what the fuck happened?" Adam asked, cutting him off.

"From whence the potty mouth?"

Adam was not amused, nor would he be distracted. "Answer the question."

"Okay," Eli said. "Actually, I _don't_ 'wanna tell you what the fuck happened.'"

"If you're gonna double talk me, I can just go home and take a nap," Adam said.

"Alright!" Eli said. "Just…sit down, okay?"

"Start talking," Adam said, arms folded.

"I don't have a good answer…"

"Guess I'll come back when you do then—"

"Sit down!" Eli's voice cracked humiliatingly and that seemed to get Adam to finally sit down.

He started talking, just like he was told, hoping that he didn't cry again. Seemed like he'd done nothing but cry like a three year old since Clare left, snot everywhere. Cece kept wiping at his face like she did when he was little, wouldn't let him take the tissue and do it himself. He was sure that this didn't inspire anyone's confidence in his recovery.

And then he went and made Adam cry. Adam was tougher than anyone in the world and Eli just made him cry.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?" Adam asked after Eli was finished, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"Pretty much," Eli agreed. "I'm just fucking crazy."

"Don't say crazy," Adam said.

"Huh?"

"It's offensive," Adam said.

"Kidding me?"

"It is," Adam said. "Maybe I'm a little oversensitive, but being called a tranny or a sh—"

"Point taken," Eli said. "'I'm just a little unwell.'"

Adam cocked his head at him for a second, then smiled.

"I knew it," Adam said. "I just _knew_ it! Where do you keep em?"

"Keep what?"

"The Matchbox Twenty CDs?" Adam said. "And any other stuff that's too mainstream for people to know about. Under your bed? "

"Please," Eli said. "I can leave stuff out in plain sight. Can't find anything in my room." His room was much better than it was, actually. It was almost at the point of regular teenage boy messy.

"What was that from, _Mad Season_?"

"_More Than You Think You Are_," Eli corrected.

"You are so busted," Adam said, still grinning at him. Eli started to smile back, but couldn't really keep it up.

"Did you talk to Clare?"

"Last night."

"What'd she say?"

"She…wasn't really using complete sentences," Adam said.

"Is she okay?" Eli asked. "What happened?"

"She flip—" Adam began, then corrected himself. "She's upset."

"Shit," Eli said, even though a twisted little part of his brain still thought that she _should_ be upset.

"She's not alone," Adam said.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Adam said. "She just got upset. She'll be okay." Eli pictured Clare surrounded by people, all of them wanting to make it better. He hoped that that was what was going on. "Alli's with her."

Eli nodded. She was safe with Alli. He respected her in spite of, or maybe _because_ of the way she kept giving him the stink-eye.

"She's never going to forgive me, is she?" Eli said. A fucking rhetorical question.

"She's Clare," Adam said.

"I mean, I guess she _shouldn't_ forgive me, but..."

"Dunno if she's gonna want to _talk_ to you anytime soon," Adam said. "But she'll forgive you. You know, eventually."

Eli nodded. He wanted her there, more than anything, but he knew better than to think he could have her.

"Tell her I'm sorry?"

"Sure," Adam said. "If she's still talking to _me_. I kinda yelled at her last night and I might have to face the wrath of Alli before I can even get in to see her."

"I really love her, you know," Eli said.

"I know."

"I didn't mean to fuck it up," Eli said. "She said I manipulated her. I was just desperate to get her to stay for a minute. I really didn't mean to."

"Okay."

"You believe me?"

"Yes, I believe you."

"You're not just saying that?"

"Eli," Adam said.

"Am I being unwell again?"

"Just relax," Adam said.

"Relax!" Eli said a little louder than he meant to. It brought Cece back in. "Good one."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," Eli said. "I'm just scaring Adam away."

"I'll come back tonight," Adam said. "Could I bring him a burger or something?"

"That sounds amazing, baby," Cece said, pulling him in for some more rib breaking Cece love. "You get some rest, first, though."

"Will do," Adam mumbled. He leaned over to Eli for a fist-bump and beat it out of there.

"He's not coming back," Eli said.

"He is," Cece said, messing with his hair. "Just relax, maybe get a little sleep, okay?"

He didn't think he would be able to sleep, but he put on the little TV, flipped around until he landed on a _Psych_ rerun he'd actually wanted to see. He was asleep in minutes.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Clare Went Back to the Dance

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with _Degrassi_ or anything else I reference herein. No profit is being made and no infringement intended.

Chapter Three.

One good thing about Spring Break was that there was no usual morning rush at the Dot. Even on Saturdays there was a mini rush of people on their way to play rehearsal or Power Squad or just plain old Saturday detention.

But this Saturday, it was blessedly quiet, with just a couple of women taking their time over a couple of short stacks and a handful of people running in here and there for a no frills coffee.

Okay, Fitz had had to ask Peter to remind him what the hell a caramel macchiato was and how to make it, but the lady who'd ordered it had been patient and left him a tip anyway. She didn't even think that he was snarking her when he told her to have a blessed day.

He guessed that the lunch rush would be as hectic as ever if not more so, but he knew enough to enjoy the relative peace while he could. Even if Peter kept singing along to whatever was playing on the jukebox.

Bianca came in wearing what had to have been last night's dress and the last of last night's makeup. She was there, no doubt, for coffee and greasy food and lots of water so that she could look sober when she got home. Fitz hadn't seen her like that in the longest time and he didn't really know how to feel about it.

On one hand, she really needed to stop drinking. If she got busted again, she'd end up in juvie and Fitz, knowing what juvie was like, didn't wish it on _anyone_, especially not Bee. On the other hand, a small part of him wished he'd been out drinking _with _her. He missed hanging out; he could do without some of the others like Owen and Ron-Ron, but Bee was okay.

She sat at the counter. "French fries and coffee?" he asked. It was what she usually liked to have on mornings like this.

"Huh?" she asked, seeing him for the first time. "Oh. No. I'm not hungover, just sleepy. Since when do you work the counter?"

"A few days," Fitz said, shrugging, like it wasn't a big deal. "So what can I get you?"

"Ummm," she scanned the menu on the wall behind him. "Let me get…the French toast, bacon, strawberries and cream, and how big is your biggest coffee?"

He blinked at her.

"Don't look at me like that!" she said. "I had a busy night."

"Okay," he said, pointedly not asking for details.

"Don'tcha wanna hear about it?"

"I dunno, Bee, do I?" He really hoped that she'd remember that he'd been saved and keep the story PG-13.

She rolled her eyes. "I promise it won't make your ears fall off. You know that girl Jenna?" She drew a pregnant belly in the air over her own flat stomach.

Fitz nodded.

"She had the baby, and I had to go to the hospital with everybody."

"How come?"

"I was kinda handcuffed to the father…"

"How many of your stories start that way?" Fitz asked, unable to stop himself.

"No way! Did you just make a joke?" she asked and it was Fitz's turn to roll his eyes. "Fitzy made a _joke_. Say Hall—"

"Don't say it."

"What?" she asked. "Hallelujah?"

"She said it," Fitz muttered. She still didn't believe that he was really saved. Not too many people did, so he couldn't really blame her. Fitz thought that it even made his mother a little uncomfortable when he talked about it. But really, with Patrick, his stepdad, in and out of the hospital and Steve being, well, _Steve_, he figured they all could use a little faith. It was supposed to give them hope, but his Mom was turning angrier and more and more agnostic every day. That scared him. It felt like she was giving up.

"What, are you mad at me now?" Bianca asked, bringing him back to Earth.

"Huh?" he asked. She repeated the question, pouting at him.

"No, I'm not mad at you Bee," putting her coffee in front of her. "That was my thinkin' face."

"Wow," Bianca said.

"Yeah, yeah," Fitz said. "I know. You never saw that one before, right?"

"You know I just said the H word 'cause it's been freakin forever since you've been _you,_ right?" she said ripping open three sugar packets at once.

He wrinkled his nose. "Being me's overrated. Don't let this sexy, sexy apron fool you." Bill, the cook chimed the bell, letting him know Bee's order was up, so he turned around, grabbed her plates and set them in front of her.

A few other people came in for bagels and donuts and stuff, so he and Peter were busy for a couple minutes while Bianca made a dent in the epic pile of food she ordered. That guy who worked at the garage up the street came in. He was friends with Spinner, so he was there all the time.

"Jay!" Peter fistbumped him. "What'll it be?"

"Coffee," the guy, Jay, said. "If you could, like, fill a bucket with espresso, that'd be great."

"Long day ahead?"

"Naw," Jay said. "I'm just getting off. Had to take out the flatbed last night."

Peter winced.

"Take out the flatbed?" Fitz asked.

"Yeah," Jay said. "When there's a wreck that you can't just tow with the truck, you get out the flatbed and carry it off. If you're lucky, you can get a couple spare parts off of it. If not, you just carry it to the junkyard."

"How bad was this one?" Peter said, handing Jay a mug.

"It was an _accordion_," Jay said, doing the same thing Bee had done with the sugar packets. "Thing is, I know the kid who was driving. You probably know him, too. Goes to Degrassi."

Bianca's ears perked up. "Who?" she asked.

"Eli," Jay said. "With the '62 Caddy hearse?"

Fitz dropped a handful of (thankfully) plastic tumblers and had to scramble to gather them up again.

"Shit," Bianca said.

"_Morty_? Are you shitting me?" Peter said.

"Um," Fitz began. Nobody paid him any mind. It was hard to bring himself to ask the question he wanted to ask.

"I shit you not," Jay said.

_Please God_, Fitz thought, then he worked up some courage.

"Was anybody in the car with him?" Fitz asked. "Do you know?"

"No," Jay said. "He was by himself."

Fitz audibly let out the breath he'd been holding. Bianca turned to look at him, then back at Jay.

"What about _Eli_?" she asked.

"Dunno," Jay said. "I saw them load him into the ambulance. He was awake and talking, but I couldn't exactly go over there and ask questions. Maybe I'll call Bullfrog later. See if they need anything."

"So you're, like, a friend of the family or something?" Bee asked.

"Not really," Jay said. "But I used to see them all the time. Me and Tony showed the kid where to get spare parts cheap so he could do some repairs himself, save a little money. So they like me." He downed most of his coffee in one gulp and Peter was ready with the refill. He topped off Bianca's mug while he was at it. Fitz tried to fill up a straw dispenser with some really shaky hands.

"Dude," Peter asked. "You okay?"

"Mhm," Fitz said. "Why?"

"'Cause you look like you're about to hit the floor," Peter said. "Take ten."

He was about to argue, but then said "okay," and went outside for a minute. It was a little cold to be standing there without a jacket, but the air felt really good. It was nice and quiet until Bee came out.

"Oh my _God_," she said. "I don't even like the kid, but _damn_."

He thought he should probably be lecturing her about taking the Lord's name in vain, or some such thing, but at that moment, he couldn't care less.

He hated Eli. He could admit that much to himself. Fitz tried to tell himself that he had changed, that he didn't hate anyone, but this one was hard to let go of, because it wasn't enough that Eli was smarter than him and had gotten the girl, but he had to be a jerk about it, too. He'd just _had_ to do that thing with the Ipecac.

And he just _had_ to be the guy that Clare would probably always go back to.

He didn't want _this_ for Eli, though. He didn't want to picture him in a hospital bed, surrounded by beeping machines, his parents looking more or less like Fitz's own mom did when Patrick was getting chemo.

He'd never thought of Eli having parents before. Somehow he'd always pictured Eli springing forth fully grown from _The Nightmare Before Christmas_.

"You're not gonna call her, are you?" Bianca asked.

"Who?"

"_Please_."

"What are you—?"

"Clare Edwards," Bianca said. "Don't even try to stand here with your _hand on your phone_—"

He took his hand out of his apron pocket and folded his arms.

"…and tell me that you weren't about to call her up and ask if there was anything you could _do_," she said. "To help her release a little _tension_, maybe. I know you like a book."

"It's not like that," he said.

"It is _so_ like that," she said. "And I'm saying it for your own good. Give up. It's not gonna happen. We both know that she's in the hospital right now, feeding him Jell-O and reading him poetry."

"I think it's been about ten minutes," Fitz said. "I'm just gonna head back in."

"You think I'm being a fucking bitch right now," Bianca said. "But I'm your friend and I'm telling you this _because_ I'm your friend."

"Yeah," he said. "Fine."

"Okay," she said. "How bout this: you deserve someone who's gonna fall all over you. This one—she's probably a good person and all, but she's falling all over _him_ and not you. So to hell with her. Don't waste your time."

Bianca was really trying to be helpful, but that only made him more depressed. Nobody was about to 'fall all over him.' Nobody.

"This from Boiler Room Bianca," Fitz said.

"Fuck you," she said, but she didn't look mad, just sort of pitying. "You know I'm right. Just don't call her. If she wants you, she'll call you."

"Whatever, Bee," he said. "This door's gonna lock behind me, so if you don't wanna go around the front to get back in, you better come in now."

"Okay," she said, moving past him as he held the door open for her.

He found himself wishing for the regular morning rush, because he didn't want to have time to think of any of this stuff that was running through his head.


End file.
